I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
