Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
