I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
