Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just pee around me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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