I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
