1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
