fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
