don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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