Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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