Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
