I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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