you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
