I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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