Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
