you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
