4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
