okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
