2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
