i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
