every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize