we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize