I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
