At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
