He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
