do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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