All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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