No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
