Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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(334): View more from Alabama

She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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(903): View more from Texas

Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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(330): View more from Ohio

We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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(708): View more from Illinois

No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.

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