Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
