I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
