Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just pee around me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize