chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize