Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
