TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
