drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
