I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
