You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
