did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
