Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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