Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
