I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
