STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
