That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
