She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
