1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
