I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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