omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize