he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize