I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
