You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
