so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
