Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
