He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
