pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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