We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
