don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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