Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
